April 17, 2024
My Mother’s 90th birthday!
It’s something that fascinates me – people who know themself so well that everything about them seems to be made for them. You can’t imagine them dressed differently. You know that their home is perfect for them, as is their car, and the books that the read, and the music that they love.
“Know thyself.” Is there harder advice? When we’re buffeted by advertising and entertainment that encourages us to try new and different EVERYTHING all the time (got to keep the economy churning, you know), being loyal to your personal style is far from simple…
Enter Emilio Pettoruti, and this wonderful painting:
Yes, I used this here on The Vivienne Files back in October, but it took me a while to realize that this has it all – black and white! PURPLE!!! Some brown, some grey, some softer lavender… and blue that can be denim, in my world.
Plus it’s abstract and sort of soothing – all my favorite things.
I even made it my phone wallpaper. It helps me remember.
This is my wardrobe color scheme – even before I found the painting:
Okay, “my” blue is more like denim. I think Emilio will forgive me…
And all of this is timely, as my life is turned pretty upside-down with family care and the winding up of chapters of life.
It’s good to know who you are, in all kinds of ways.
For me, these are my colors, and kindness is my religion.
love,
Janice
p.s. Ten years ago, I was thinking of what could be done with beige and navy...
p.p.s. Things here at The Vivienne Files should be getting back to normal – finally – but your love and patience is always appreciated as I fumble through the realities of life!
Like this article? Save it to Pinterest!
What a lovely and personal letter from you, Janice! It feels like a real heart to heart hug. Love and congrats to your mother on her 90th. As I approach my 86th, I know even more than ever that ‘love is all there is.’ Colorwise, when I wear purple I KNOW I will recieve compliments, often from total strangers. That is love too. And, speaking of buying stuff just to keep the economy going, I am so tired of the word ‘consumer.’ As if there is no other way to describe our human lives. Well, blessing to you Janice, and to your mom, and to all the lovely ladies this am. jc
This was also a perfect response – thank you for your wisdom this morning. My compliments to you!
Happy birthday to your mom.
I agree about paintings feeling “just right.” (I like your taste.)
Wow – isn’t it so powerful when you find something that resonates.
And I just learnt something new about you – I thought you were all black and white with a small foray into purple but now it looks like you do quite a bit of brown!! haven’t heard you mention that!
Happy Birthday to your Mom!
Strength and Peace to you at this time…
Janice, I love this. My signature painting was actually given to me by my best friend (and my maid of honor) for a wedding gift. It’s a paining of the beach houses on Miramar Beach in Montecito, California, where we grew up. I realize now that I pull all my favorite colors (pink, sea blue, tangerine, khaki, soft green, navy) from it unconsciously.
Happy birthday to your mum, and continued peaceful wishes for health adaptations in your family.
Happy birthday to your mom! 90 years! Sign of a hard-working life, I’m sure.
Thank you for sharing yourself with us, even at times when you say your life is a bit upsde-down.
Hopefully the sharing is giving you peace, as well.
I’ve never met you but even I can see – based on the WOTW posts you did for a while – that this painting truly sums you up, design-wise. That’s so neat!
Happy birthday to your mom. I hope you can celebrate her today. I’m so sorry that things are upside down in your world!
Happy Birthday to your mom, Janice. All the best to you, her and all those involved in your chapters. 💜
All the best to You and Your Mom!
This palette is so subtle and calm…
Happy birthday to your mom! And you have my best wishes coming your way for all of life’s ups and downs.
Dear Janice, your mother and I share a birthday! Please, if possible, give her best wishes from a fellow April 17 baby. And thank you for this thoughtful post. May your world right itself soon.
Happy happy birthday to your Mother
Your insight is right on target
Oddly I thought I knew myself but after a year of cancer treatment I am in the process of finding my new self
A recent move has forced me reexamine my wardrobe needs and reduce those things that don’t work with the New Me
Thank you for your practical and wonderful sense of style
Happy 90th to your mom! I’m glad you’ve found “your” painting. I can absolutely see how it is perfect for you. Sending you a hug as you deal with life’s challenges.
I hope the tough spots in your life get easier. The painting is so cool — I thought your colors were black, white, and red. Mine are similar to this painting except no brown but a deep ruby red instead. Love your work!
Happy Milestone Birthday to your mother! Her reaching 90 bodes well for you. People probably remark “Your mother must have good genes,” and my response is “I hope I inherited them.” Wishing you and your mother a joyous day.
Happy 90th birthday to your mom! Thank you for sharing so personally. This painting really does seem to reflect you. I have been mulling over this “true identity” puzzle myself lately as I also deal with caring for my mother. It has been long distance and nearly all-consuming, ehich is a problem when I am still homeschooling my last teenager. I will be moving Mom close to me and into a safe place for her soon, which will both vastly simplify and also permanently complicate my life in new ways. I wonder if there is a painting out there that reflects the multiple aspects of me: flamboyant yet introspective, caring yet a little bit impulsive, bold but also feminine and soft…I will keep looking.
Happy Birthday to your mom and best wishes on a peaceful resolution of your current situation. It’s amazing that you’ve found a painting that sums you up so well, both in colors and in style. I hope to do the same one day.
It seems the older we get, the more our lives meet challenges and changes. After the passing of my Mom, I found I was best served by visiting my authentic self and the moral compass and anchor given me in my childhood. It appears that you have a great sense of self and values to face life’s challenges, Janice. Blessings to you and your Mom on this special day!
Janice, I really like the restful yet optimistic tone of this painting, and it looks wonderful as the “signature” for your wardrobe. I had forgotten about the addition of brown to your color palette; I hope that you’ve found a way to integrate it into your wardrobe to your satisfaction.
A very happy birthday to your mom! As you are making your way through this upside-down period of life, I hope you will extend to yourself even a small fraction of the kindness, empathy, and grace that you share with your readers every week. Thank you for everything you do.
Sally in St. Paul,
On your blog, what do the letters WFH stand for ?
Working From Home? It is in Scotland anyway.
Yep, Morag is right, Work From Home!
Morag,
Thank you — that makes sense !
Janice,
My mother turned 100 this past January, but like most other areas of her life, she remembers none of it . 3 years ago we had no choice but to move her into the same nursing home in our senior residential community where we shall abide, if we live that long. She was no longer safe in her own home . She is receiving fantastic care and has her own private room and bath . While it is never the same as “ home”, she was not flourishing there either , and she was an hour’s drive away from me. Now she is a 3 minute drive away. We do what we have to do when we can not personally take care of our loved ones. We are in a two bedroom cottage ourselves, that we fully occupy, and at age 79. I am unable to provide the level of care that my mother now needs . God bless you for what you do for your mother, it ain’t easy I know !
A Happy 90 th Birthday to her, snd give her and yourself an extra hug from me !
Shrebee, it must be an incredibly hard decision to make, but I am glad to hear that your mom is doing well in her current situation. There can be a lot of pressure to continue caring for elderly loved ones at home, with the idea that a nursing home will be inferior, that you don’t really love your parents if you put them there, etc. So it’s good to hear examples where people are doing well in a professional care environment. My grandfather lived for several years in a nursing home at the end of his life, and the people who worked there did an incredible job caring for him and he was quite happy there. Same with some other people I’ve known. I have no doubt that some nursing homes are not great, but many do a very good job.
Janice, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, your signature painting, and yourself with us. You feel like family. Sending you warmth as you courageously and kindly paddle your way through the long and languid, swirling, and rapid-infested water-way that is life. I wish you a few moments of calm eddies and peaceful drifting in the middle of the chaos. May you be left with happy memories post chaos. And a very happy birthday to your mom!
Adding my Happy Birthday to the many others that have been proffered, and my agreement that Yup That’s You!
Wishing your mother a happy birthday as well! You are lucky to have had her for so long in your life. I lost my own mother at a young age from cancer. Cherish all the memories. Thank you for sharing, isnt it wonderful when you can find a painting that captures not only your colours but inner strength.
Dear Janice, I do hope you and yours can celebrate your mom’s birthday. I am still looking for my signature picture but even a rainbow is not colorful enough to express my sense of style. Perhaps I could find a picture of the 1960’s era Crayola Crayon boxes – the long, flat one about the size of a board game box. Every time I try to narrow down my neutrals to navy and white, and pick two-four accent colors, another color floats by and I have to grab it. And today I am that stereotypical old lady – amethyst highlights in my dark hair with a red jacket over navy and white.
Happy Birthday to your Mom! A most thoughtful post, and it really speaks to the ongoing refinement of character we face as we go “upward” in life.
I’m still coming to grips with the loss of my mother, who passed 3 years ago on the day before Mother’s Day. It was during Covid and I hadn’t been able to see her for over two years due to her health, isolation practices and my distance from her. Interestingly, I had a massive haircut this morning and not only did it bring me home to myself, but I saw her in the mirror as well.
She had dark hazel eyes, black hair and fair Irish skin, while I have dark blonde-now-graying hair, blue-green eyes and beige skin, but our features? My goodness. What a comfort to see her reflected back at me.
That painting is stunning. A guiding light. Maybe when I grow up a bit more, 60 being mere months away, something will resonate completely.
My Mom passed away 2 years ago. I miss her every day! Recently while at the grocer, I
turned the corner and a girl from my childhood neighborhood said, “Oh my goodness, for a second I thought you were your Mom!”
I said, “Thank you!” So I totally get what you are saying.
Dear Janice,
Happy Birthday to your mother, and a big hug and heartfelt thanks to you!
Your posts bring me so much joy, and have cheered me up when the going has been rough. I hope that all will soon be well in your life.
Happy birthday to your mother! It brings to mind my own late mom’s 90th, celebrated in her memory care facility with her companions, involving cupcakes with great gobs of deep purple and red (her favorite colors) frosting, stained faces, and a LOT of clean-up. ♥️
Sending good thoughts your way, and hoping that your life calms soon, helped by the kindness of those around you.
Thank you, as always.
Happy birthday to your mom. Give her a hug and cherish your time with her.
I can’t add anything to what has been so eloquently expressed here, so I’ll just say thank you for what you do with such grace and kindness. Reading about your heroines and seeing your lovely visions is one of the highlights of my day. You make all the hard work you must do invisible.
Janice, I agree that this painting seems to express you so perfectly. I love the colours, which include all my neutrals and a couple of my accents. Thank you for sharing your signature painting. Can a painting be a muse, do you think?
Sandi, thank goodness someone else remembers that flat Crayon box of the 60’s. I think it had about 120 different pieces. Everyone I talk to about it thinks I’m hallucinating! I only ever had one and it was one of my favorite childhood things.
I believe we discovered our mothers share the same birthday a few years ago. My mom is 97 today and really doing well. We traveled to IN for four days (long weekend) to celebrate with her and my siblings. She pointed out to anyone within ear shot that her birthday wasn’t until Wednesday! Good meals, good bourbon, good wine and Crème Brule. And a little party where my brother grilled hamburgers. She doesn’t get those at her senior living apartment and they are a favorite. Went shopping at Talbot’s for a couple of fresh looking tees. She assured us she needs nothing but my sister and I “retired” some older ones. Bless her heart she sorts light and dark but EVERYTHING is washed on warm/hot and tossed in the dryer. She’s still reading doing the daily crossword and Sudokus. Aren’t we lucky to have our moms at this age. Good genes indeed.Hugs to you and your mom.
Oh! It was my mother’s 90th yesterday also (it’s already the 18th here in NZ). Although it is a shame that my mum has been gone for 30+ years. Many happy returns to your mom, Janice.
Happy birthday to your mom! And for you, wishes of peace and grace in life’s ups and downs.
As I read these replies, I started to weep. So much love and kindness here. Happy belated birthday to your mom and also big hugs sent to you as you negotiate this chapter of life. It can be most difficult. Trust your instincts and your sense of style. It simplifies the decision making. And you will know at the end of the day that you did right by your mom. PS I love denim and brown–it feels so nurturing.
Thank you for this connection from your heart. And Happy Birthday to your Mom!
Years ago, I was the unpaid family care giver for my Dad. Yes, no matter how precious and special the relationship with our parents, caregiving is intense, and the endless, unpredictable, exhausting demands of it all shred our lives to bits.
Thank you for whatever you can post these days. I’ve learned so much from you, and it’s always fun. And the things I’ve bought through your links have always been awesome!