January 22, 2021
For no good reason that I can pinpoint, I’m in the mood to shop! Maybe it’s the sunshine beaming down on the lakefront that gives me this sense of optimism and cheer that translates into… buying things for myself?
Just on the face of it, that’s an odd thing. I should be wanting to go out and walk for miles, or throw some snowballs, or open all of my blinds and clean our THIRTEEN big windows… (because cleaning windows is so often something one longs to do, right?)
But one of the occupational hazards of writing The Vivienne Files is seeing TONS of beautiful things, and finding that I’m still thinking of a few things long after I’ve moved on…
Like these beauties:
cardigan – J.Crew; earrings – Alon Diller; necklace – Talbots; coat – Lands’ End; shirt – J.Crew; sweater – L.L.Bean; corduroy shirt – L.L.Bean; flats – Thierry Rabotin; fleece Fair Isle top – L.L.Bean
You can clearly see what colors I wear, that I’m a big fan of pearl jewelry, and that I wear flat, comfortable shoes!
But do I actually need any of these things? Some of them? ALL of them? (I suspect that last question is a definite NO…)
When I’m buying things other than clothes and accessories, I try to be thoughtful and analyze what I’m doing – why do I want it? what will I DO with it? is this just an impulsive waste of money? But I’ve never really done that much at all with my wardrobe. Neither do I have a budget…
So this is a work in process. I’d like to have a 1-page “Impulse Check” page about each item that I’m considering. Eventually, each page could be moved to one of 3 files: Purchased, Pending, or Pitched…
I’m very eager for your feedback about this, as I am about all things!
First is this cardigan/blazer… I own this in pink, and it’s really lovely – just enough structure to resemble a blazer, but a forgiving fit and softness that’s part of being a cardigan…
I see this cardigan every day I work on The Vivienne Files, and I’m drawn to it… But do I need it in black?
Same with this striped shirt; I love black and white patterned shirts – stripes, checks, trellis prints – ALL OF THEM! But I have 3 or 4 – why do I still pause every time I see this shirt?
I own 3 garments in this shade of pink, but this shirt always causes me to linger… I would wear it and love it, but is that reason enough to buy it?
Through the last 5 months or so, I’ve been living in fleece. A lot of mornings, I get up and put on gym clothes, believing (rightly so!) that being dressed for the gym is a big part of getting myself there! (getting on the very tight schedule is the other hard thing…)
So this top has a reasonable chance of coming home to me – it could be worn over a gym shirt, or with a nicer shirt and pants as a surrogate sweater. This one is a possibility….
Yet another sweater – yes, I love sweaters! But I can only wear 1 at a time; owning 30 sweaters (for example) means that (assuming an 8 month long sweater season) I could only wear each sweater 8 times, on average.
That seems like it’s not a big enough number…
But still, I’m always reading this description, and considering the possibilities:
From the first time I saw this necklace, I was smitten. I adore black velvet, and I’ve worn pearls forever and ever – so what’s not to love?
Except I don’t dress up at all right now, and may not have the occasion to do so for quite a while…
That said, there are quite a few experts suggesting that the latter parts of the 2020s will be new “Roaring 20s” with a strong trend toward dressing nicely and just generally being pretty festive… There is a case to be made that one wants to be ready when this starts to gain momentum. And if you see something pretty, and tempting, and right for you, AND on sale, it might make sense…
necklace – Talbots
For this next item, I have the perfect excuse – I’ve LOST my pearl earrings! How does one do these things?
But there’s a world full of women who live their entire lives without pearl earrings, and never miss them! And if I was enough of a knucklehead to lose the last pair, I clearly was a little bit careless with them…
For some reason, I’m not mad to own tons of shoes (nor handbags, frankly). But there’s always something lurking around the world that tempts the living daylights out of me. Black and white are already enough to push me over the edge, but knowing that these are from Thierry Rabotin, and that I thus could walk about 15 miles in them without pain… sigh…
flats – Thierry Rabotin
And lastly (at least for this 15 minutes!), I’m longing for a pretty coat. Who could have watched the news on Wednesday and NOT wanted a new coat in a lovely color?
I KNOW that a pink coat in Chicago is just asking for filthy, filthy trouble… but it’s so… pink!
One thing that really prompted me to try something like this: when I’m searching for things to share with you on The Vivienne Files, I see a METRIC TON of used garments every minute. Tons. And they all look… droopy. Wrinkled, poorly photographs, and unappealing.
So I like to preserve a photograph of something that I buy in its lovely, pristine, brand-new glory. If everything you own looks like a scrub rag, you’re going to be easily tempted to buy new things! But if you can retain, in your mind, heart and closet, that feeling of excitement that you had when you first buy something, you can perhaps enjoy your purchase longer.
Eventually, I would like to be able to leaf (possibly digitally) through my personal version of this file, and recognize that the things that I DID buy were great choices, that the things I DIDN’T buy were mistakes well avoided, and then be able to think more intelligently about the things still on the bubble….
Make sense?
What questions would you ask yourself about a potential purchase? What could I leave out, and what should I add to my list of questions?
love,
Janice
p.s. Just 5 months ago, I was pondering what I might buy from the Nordstrom Fall Sale… I only think about shopping every few months, but when I do it, I do it SERIOUSLY!
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I love, love your posts. All of them.
I think we are naturally attracted to certain colors, shapes, items i.e. bags, shoes, etc. Part of our DNA. I like your idea to save images of our wants and sort them as we ponder a purchase. I’d pay for an app that did that.
There is an app! It’s called Stylebook. It’s amazing. I just got it a few weeks ago. It takes time to photograph all your clothes, but the editing tools are very easy to use. You build outfits with your own clothes, just like playing paper dolls, but for adults. You can build a wish list of things you’d like to purchase. Then you can incorporate images of prospective purchases into your existing wardrobe to see how they’ll work. It even keeps track of how often you wear individual pieces. There’s a calendar option if you want to keep a visual daily track — also great for planning vacation outfits, just like Vivienne! If you build your wardrobe with intention à la Vivienne, you’ll love this app. It’s helped me get through the long, monotonous days of lockdown and focused on the return to real life. Can’t wait to wear the outfits I’ve created! :)
I love Stylebook and the Vivienne Files. I just found those recently but love going over the posts and saving them! SO educational and full of good ideas to savor! Stylebook is wonderful! I sat during commercials last night mulling over a blog post of how to wear bright pants – I worked with Stylebook and figured out 5 outfits with a never worn pair of bright blue pants.
Oops! Forgot to dad this link about Stylebook.
https://youtu.be/JVqLe_hRr5w
In my quest to define my style I’ve landed on using the StyleBook app. It does a lot of useful things, but the features I use the most are making “looks” or outfits, logging outfits and items worn on the calendar, and then using the item stats to review my cost per wear and my most worn items. Honestly, since I started using it in October I’ve quelled my impulse shopping and donated a ton of unworn items. Just seeing how much or how little I wear my clothes helps me think about what I have and what I need.
Today is 2/5/21, the Sophie open-front sweater-blazer is on sale at J. Crew for 50% off.
Life is short, nothing brings that more to the forefront than the current pandemic. Look at how many people never really enjoy the brief time we have been given. I have an older friend who denies herself most luxuries, conveniences. She has a beautiful sapphire sitting in her safe, I told her to take it and get it set, wear it often! That was several years ago…it’s still in the safe, unset. So I’m not for mindless shopping, but when one loves something and considers it over and over again, what does deprival really mean? That one should do something nice for oneself. We just spoke with our accountants, and since they believe the tax picture is going to change for the worse very soon, they think spending more now is a smart thing to do. We are old. We don’t live forever. Does the government really deserve it more than we do? NAH!! :D
Gigi, a big thumbs up to your comment!
Hi from Moscow, Russia.
I am also in a “spending spree”, maybe due to the cold (but nice) winter weather, maybe due to terrible political news here, in Russia.
About purchases and impulse shopping.
My attention moved to bags, different sizes and colors, and theatre tickets: yesterday the covid restrictions have been slightly lifted, effective today theatre attendance is restricted to 50% based on the total percentage of the seat capacity instead of 25%. And here I am unable to analyze, what I really want. So, today is ballet in Bolshoi, next week – chamber opera and a long “waiting list” to buy in the next few days when the theatres will finally add the tickets
I recognise your dilemma – cleaning the windows or going shopping…
This is a considered wishlist but here are my thoughts for what they are worth, mainly gleaned from your excellent advice!
First of all set aside a tin or a portion of your bank account marked PARIS TRIP. For those items, you choose NOT to buy, put the equivalent sum into your Paris pot if you can AFFORD to do that now.
Secondly, I set a ceiling price for buying individual items. This price makes me think whether it is NEED or WANT that is driving my choice ie Head over Heart. I’m prepared to push the boat out if a trusted person also says WOW or I know that I will wear said item many many times.
Thirdly consider like for like – a shirt is not the same as a cardigan. Fleece is not the same material as wool. A button shirt is not the same as a tee shirt or polo neck top.
BLACK BLAZER CARDIGAN
The garment that serves the SAME ROLE is your PINK blazer cardigan that you love. How often do you wear the pink one and could you wear it more often?
Do you have another black blazer cardigan? Does it need replacing because it is worn out, faded or milled?
You could consider this purchase as a black blazer cardigan might be more serviceable every day.
Put $148 into your Paris pot and then wear your pink blazer over a black dress with a beautiful scarf and look utterly chic!
BLACK AND WHITE STRIPE SHIRT
What is your ceiling price for shirts?
Only purchase if it replaces a worn out black and white stripe shirt.
Could you find a cheaper one?
Put $79.50 into your Paris pot.
Favourite pink – dilemma time that I know so well. This is a button down shirt so cannot be compared to a sweatshirt or cardigan of any other colour. Look at the items that you have in this colour. Do you have a shirt in this colour (include stripes and patterns where this is the main colour). Would this shirt fit into that scheme? You have a practical fantasy of wearing this whilst you are at your desk and we all need to wear clothes we love at home. However, you could also wear this shirt under the next item, thus increasing its wearability.
FAIR ISLE FLEECE
This is a worthwhile purchase as it adds colour and pattern to your wardrobe and can be worn with black, grey, white or pink. Though printed fleece is not the same as a Fair Isle patterned jumper….
BLACK AND GREY JUMPER
Do you have another black or grey jumper with a contrasting cuffs and collar? Could you achieve the same ‘look’ wearing a grey jumper over a black polo?
You could add $79 to your Paris pot.
NECKLACE
Jewellery is for keeps and you will wear this a lot.
Perhaps ask Belovedst to buy this as a birthday present so you can wear it in Paris…..
EARRINGS
Replace immediately!
SHOES
I can see the appeal as I have navy and white ballet flat shoes for spring/summer. They look less heavy than plain black in summer. However, what is your ceiling price for shoes? Perhaps shop around for a cheaper pair by a good brand and add the difference to your Paris pot.
COAT
How much does it rain in Chicago? A pink raincoat would brighten up any wet day. I have one in Cornflower Blue bought to replace a 35 year old beige trench coat but it took me several years to find the right style.
However, to look like the ladies on Capitol Hill, they wore classic style wool coats. If you don’t have a need for a pink wool coat because, it rains too much in winter, you could consider a pink coat for the summer in lighter materials.
Put $145 into a classic wool coat fund unless you have a need for another raincoat.
A coat is an investment. A pink coat is my fantasy or a sparkly teal one!
Hope my suggestions help though procrastination never cleans the windows ?
So with you on the earrings, Beth! Amen, hallelujah! :)
And you know if you buy a new pair of earrings, you will find the lost pair almost immediately. It’s a win-win. ;)
Seriously, I would find it very difficult to go long without a pair of pearl (or at least faux pearl) earrings.
Beth T
Great analysis of the two equally fun options instead of a sense of deprivation by turning down a potential purchase !
Loved this analysis Beth T!!! and agree with the earrings. (and would buy the shoes…)
Awesome. I’ve ordered some spring/summer items just this past week. Through Janice’s blogs (and your comments) I ask: is it something I already have (or close enough), does my item need replacing, will I wear it, will it coordinate with other things in my closet. I’m beginning to really know what items I will wear, and what are really fantasies! :) For instance, I’m really on the fence about an oversized denim jacket. I have a denim jacket, and I hardly ever wear it. Will the style difference be enough that I’ll wear the new one? Or will it just sit in the closet like the one I have now. Reality sets in.
wow.. I have got to stop saying “really”…..
I think the question “What is the fantasy?” Is a brilliant one. What is it I am envisioning this garment is going to do for my life? I think I have made many purchases because the fantasy was that if I have this item, I’ll look thinner and more beautiful, like that model. My head knows it doesn’t work that way, but my heart? Easily swayed.
So a fantasy of looking cute while you work is actually a reasonable fantasy (bit of an oxymoron there!) Those are all such good questions to ask before a purchase. And for those of us just getting started in the capsule wardrobe thing, how many other items can I wear this new item with? I’ve also bought many an outlier because of a fantasy, only to have it languish because I didn’t have anything to pair it with.
Thanks for sharing your thought processes, it’s always interesting, informative and FUN!
I loved this analysis. So helpful, Janice.
Also, maybe this will be helpful to YOU…I found my last pair of lost earrings in the small inside zippered compartment of a bag that I wasn’t using that season.
Here’s hoping!!
I just found a long-lost earring stuck in the bottom of a *basket*. And not one that I’ve ever kept earrings in, that I recall. How weird is that?
Janice! This is fabulous as always! I now know how to think more clearly about what to buy. I love the “fantasy” part- very helpful!
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your pearl earrings. I hope you find them. I would be very upset if I lost mine. They were a gift for college graduation. I don’t wear them often but they are always good to have on hand. Every Southern girl has a pair.?
I would also suggest reading reviews, especially the lower ratings. L.L.Bean corduroy shirts are well known for pretty colors, comfort, and holding up beautifully through years of washings. I have two in different shades of blue and wear them three seasons a year. However, there have been many complaints this year about the change in cut and style. The bottom is shorter and pockets on the side seams droop in unflattering lumps. As appealing as the pink and rose colors may be, I am holding off and hoping next year the company will return to their former pattern.
I tried on the LLBean corduroy shirt this year and found it too short to use as a jacket. I am 5’7″ so it might work for someone who is petite.
Oh, as for the shoes–you have mentioned before that Thierry Rabotin flats fit your feet and that you can walk miles in them. Considering the amount of walking that you do both at home and on vacation, I can think of no better investment for your health, your comfort, and your wardrobe.
This is the first time I have commented, but I have followed you for the past couple of years. I enjoy the comments as much as Janice’s fabulous prose.
I use an app called Stylebook along with the Vivienne files and my wardrobe finally makes sense. Stylebook lets you preserve that new garment picture and has a category called I Wish where I keep the items I am contemplating purchasing. I can then build “looks” and see if an item really does fit in my plan. I refer to it when making an online purchase as I have info stored on the comments about my existing items. It helps prevent that online return as I know the lengths of shirts, dresses, skirts, and pants that work best for me. I can also see what sizes in which brands are right for me.
Stylebook has a section called Inspiration where I store my favorite VF images as well as links to the posts to use as a template inside a look. I am still working through the Weekly Timeless Wardrobe to fill in the gaps. Thank you, Janice, for all your hard work. It is a great way to start the day!
My friend calls Stylebook my virtual paper dolls. I had an entire capsule wardrobe built within the app for a dream trip last April which was unfortunately cancelled. But I have it saved for when the dream becomes reality!
I also use Stylebook. It’s been helpful to arrange my favorite outfits, and I love the “cost per wear” analysis.
I recommend that everyone create a financial plan with long-term goals, an overall annual budget that they break into categories (food, dining out, vacations, clothing, taxes, etc) and track their expenses monthly. If you overspend one month you know that you need to cut back the next. Likewise, if you underspend one month, you can splurge on future purchase.
I did that; for 2020 it was liberating to see that I could convert my entire travel budget into home upgrades, and not feel guilty about “exceeding” that category
I wear my pearl earrings every single day. At night, they go into an antique teacup on my dresser along with my wedding ring. In the morning, putting them on is part of getting dressed. This is the only jewelry I wear 95% of the time (along with my Garmin watch, which I wear to bed) I would definitely purchase those earrings if I had lost mine!
I have recently gone through my closet and ordered 3 long sleeved tee shirts (discounted) and silky long underwear to wear under other articles of clothing. I now have enough sets of everyday first and second layers for at least a two week period. My wardrobe is meager by today’s standards. I find too much to choose from overwhelming. (By everyday, I mean an outfit that I am comfortable in all day and can throw a coat on for several walks a day.)
I absolutely loved your column today! I recently purged my closet, and one of my goals for this year is to buy fewer clothes and really explore the clothing I already have in my closet. I agree with the previous reader that the question “what is the fantasy?” is brilliant. While we can make all kinds of rationalizations about why we NEED a piece of clothing, that is often not what drives the initial impulse to purchase. My impulse buying has all too often been driven by dreamy imaginings of a different lifestyle in which that outfit would be the perfect ensemble. Unfortunately, rarely did my life actually veer in that direction and I ended up with a lovely outfit hanging forlornly in my closet because I had no place to wear it. So maybe the follow up question that needs to be asked is “how likely is that fantasy to become reality?” I firmly believe our clothes should make us happy and make us feel good about ourselves, but if we have fabulous outfits but no opportunity to wear them, what’s the point? However, if it is something you could wear regularly and would punch up a wardrobe you are starting to get bored with, don’t overthink it. The real motivation for this whole exercise was to do something for yourself that makes you happy–which is probably why you aren’t cleaning those windows!
Oh, I love this structured thought process to organize that “feelings flood” of desire for something new. I have my clothes under pretty good control (I’ve been loving this blog for years and it has developed my views on my wardrobe so much.); my perfume hobby, on the other hand, is out. of. control. This is going to be SO helpful in curbing those impulse purchases that end up languishing unloved. Thank you, thank you.
Janice,
Great analysis for considered purchases ! Yes, I have been in a shopping mood recently, which I held off on all of 2020. However, that want vs need area still has to be my point of reason ! The question that I still need to keep in mind is “ what do I already have that fulfills the same role” ? It is a question that I should have asked myself many times in the past , especially when it comes to travel organizers— specifically packing cubes, which I lovvvvve ! Their ability to keep my clothing organized in a suitcase and free of having my clothes rifled through by TSA agents floats my boat ! There are some that are deeper than others, or have a clean and dirty side, or are compression, or combine the clean and dirty sides with compression, or are packing envelopes the better choice ? I confess that I have some of each, but I seem to always be on the lookout for the next best thing, while being reluctant to part with what I already have ! I have yet to decide on the best plan of action when it comes to the use of these items, and which to let go to someone else, though different trips require different packing strategies . At some point, I have to ask myself “ how much travel am I really going to get to do “ , especially as hubby and I age ? Hmmmm !
My different kinds of trips —a car trip to another state , several states away, with a night spent in a motel, to break up the driving, then several days at one son’s home and then several days spent at the second son’s home several hours apart from the first son, and then another motel stay on the trip home , requiring a different packing strategy than going to just one destination and unpacking. For a single overnight stay I take in a duff’le bag instead of the whole suitcase, and have the next day’s outfit , or maybe just a change of a top and topper, plus undies and socks , as well as overnight needs , and another cube to repack the used clothes from the current day .
On an extended upscale bus touring trip with a group of people, I still like to pack for the two or three nights in a given location in one packing cube, and do the same with clean clothes into another one or two packing cubes, for the next legs of the trip . Having the clean/ dirty aspect of a given cube is wonderful, as I might plan on wearing the same outfit more than once on the trip, but in a different combination of pants, top and topper .
* duffle, not duff’le
I also have a variety of travel cubes, envelopes, backpacks, and variations of carry-on bags and personal items.
TVF has inspired me to assemble a curated travel items “wardrobe.” Like you, I travel frequently (well, I used to, pre-Covid!) and find that different trips require different travel items. So now I own what works best for each method of travel. And yes, at first it seemed silly to have a carry on bag sized just for tiny airline cargo bins and another one sized with dimensions only an inch or so bigger for planes with slightly more generous cargo bins. But boy does it make a difference when packing! You’d be surprised what you can add in an extra inch or so! And the bags can be stored inside each other. I also keep an index card listing specific airline carry on and personal item size and weight limits with my travel items for easy reference.
After years of traveling and experimenting with different products, I finally have it down to the essentials and it makes all the difference. Nowadays, I’m simply replacing my right sized items with better quality items as I find them or as items need to be replaced due to wear and tear. And for the record – it took several tries to get just the right combination of packing cubes/envelopes that fit perfectly. It isn’t just a matter of fitting the cubes to your luggage – you also have to fit your clothing to the cubes! This may require folding, rolling, stuffing or a combination to get the most out of the space available while avoiding wrinkles. It may also mean owning different size cubes/envelopes for different clothing items or different packing schemes. But once you have the right combination, packing is a breeze.
And it helps to have family and friends eager to accept the travel items that didn’t quite work out :)
Loved this post and all the comments. Definitely go with the shoes! They would match your entire wardrobe and you can walk miles in them. Why didn’t I pay attention to that as a young woman? I wear chunky/fancy necklaces all the time. It dresses up your jeans and tee. Pink coat cute but agree maybe a pink raincoat could fit the bill, especially with a fleece underneath. As for the pearl earrings, pray to Saint Anthony. He has found so many things for my family through the years. I lost my pearl earrings and found them the next time I got a haircut. There they were sitting in the little dish my hairdresser kept for her clients to drop their earrings in. She said she knew someone would come back through and claim them!
Since shopping is almost entirely online now, I created a Wish List board on Pinterest. I drop things there that I’m considering. It serves the purpose of being able to reflect on the item as well as capturing a photo of it, should I proceed to buy it. I can also compare similar items. One question I ask myself is if it’s similar to something I already have is it better than what I have? If so, I may make the purchase but then I let the original go.
I’m all for pink coats. I have a very, very bright one which I love wearing. Apart from lifting my spirits each time I put it on, it lifts the spirits of everyone who sees it. I get lots of compliments from both men and women. Sometimes the value of a garment outweighs its price. I’m an enabler so I say GO FOR THE PINK COAT! I love the shoes too. And earrings. And the whole concept. Thank you always.
I love all your questions and the concept of creating a “Why” framework for considering new wardrobe items. I’ve been reading a lot this month about simplifying your lifestyle and I think slowing down to ask yourself these kinds of questions is worthwhile to creating the type of lifestyle that brings you joy and satisfaction.
I was going to suggest the Stylebook app as a way to catalog your wardrobe. I haven’t completed mine yet, but the app has great features, particularly for those of us that take an analytical approach to things. You can see all of your individual items with the app by category, as well as create outfits and packing lists. You can plan out outfits for your calendar too. It even takes the calendar data to help you see how frequently you use certain pieces and provides a cost value for them.
As to the items that you’re drawn to lately, I’d probably say yes to the shoes—stylish, comfortable and classic that will likely become a three season staple—that’s a no-brainer for me as someone who doesn’t own tons of shoes and has a hard time finding the right fit in shoes most of the time. I’d also say yes to the pearl earrings—replacement needed, you love pearls, and again a forever classic style with absolute functionality. The necklace just seems like a special piece—classic, pretty and a statement piece. Like another reader, I’d suggest your guy purchase and hold for gift-giving (Valentine’s Day is just around the corner!). For the other items, they seem more want than need. What I do for myself in those circumstances—I set monthly goals for a variety of reasons (stick to a nutrition plan, keep within a household budget, get 7-8 hours of sleep each night, self-care activities), and attach a reward to motivate me to see the goal through to end of the month. When there’s been a top or new workout or whatever item has caught my eye and heart, I reward myself with it after putting in hard work on the monthly goal. Maybe a little childish, but a lot of times the delay in instant gratification and hard work/perseverance to get to goal, makes the item that much sweeter to enjoy. Just a thought.
Finally, I want to say thank you for all the work you put into this blog. It provides me with joy and inspiration every time I read it. It is filled with color, art, warmth, imagination and practicality! All of which brings a smile to my face and my heart! Kudos!
If the number of reply is an indication this blog really appeals to many. Thank for all your hard work.
Thank you for this interesting list of questions. One question I would add to your list is: what is the fabric the garment is made of? I decide against everything containing polyester, acrylic and other plastic ( I’m less strict for secondhand shopping though), our planet doesn’t need more (nano-)plastic pollution.
I really love this post, it’s a great, simple way to evaluate purchases. “What’s the fantasy” is a fantastic question, how often do we buy things for a fantasy life we don’t actually lead?
In my fantasy, I’m 5’8 with long wavy hair…. instead of 5 foot with short straight hair. The real tragedy is that most clothes are designed for tall people rather than the average 5’4 or less. We’ve had the campaigns to use normal figures and plus size. How about a campaign to just use average and petite height people? I’ve even seen adverts for petite clothes that say “Model is 5′ 10…”. Nothing is more dispiriting….
Interesting to hear how well the “what is the fantasy?” question is resonating…for me, that’s really not an issue most of the time (though I did laugh in recognition of the “fabulous women on the podium” fantasy…luckily I already have my fall, winter, Minnesota winter, early spring, and late spring coats lined up, all colorful). Instead those middle 3 questions really hit home with me. I’m so very good at selecting items that are a good price, can be seamlessly introduced into my existing wardrobe, and that I can start wearing tomorrow! Except there just aren’t enough days in the week or weeks in the season to get through all these “good buys”…so despite my diligence in wearing everything, I don’t wear any given thing enough to get to a reasonable number of wears or my goal cost per wear.
I actually do much better avoiding larger ticket items than smaller ones. My danger zone is the sweater on sale for $15 that I would only need to wear 15 times to get to a $1 cost per wear. It’s generally easy to imagine wearing something 15 times. But that isn’t gonna happen when you have a bunch of other sweaters that also need to be worn 15 times.
Another personal downfall…which is clearly a form of fantasy…is this nebulous idea that my wardrobe will reach a point where it’s a glorious mix and match wonderland. It’s not even that I have determined that the right shade of burgundy pants and the perfect teal marl sweater and two long-sleeved tops to match those two lonely cardigans would bring everything together. It’s not that specific or thought out. It’s more a feeling…that there are things out there that once they enter my closet, the rest of the wardrobe will say “you complete me.” And this leads to a sense of always being looking for those things, while also knowing that I already have more than enough. (Also, I have to call nonsense on any notion that if I magically ever found these perfect completer items that I would get rid of any of the perfectly good items that I already own because I never do that! Instead I just amass an even larger quantity of perfectly good items. And perfection is not attainable in this world, so it’s a fool’s goal anyway.) I have not articulated this before, and it helps to see it written out.
I am also fascinated by the idea of keeping a stock photo of your items in their pristine condition because my mind seems to work in the opposite way! I had been keeping stock photos from the website for items purchased for about 6 months, but I basically felt kind of meh about it and stopped doing it. In the last couple months I have been taking mediocre-at-best photos of my droopy wrinkled items from my wardrobe and it’s been a game changer. I do not find them unappealing at all! I suspect that seeing MY VERY OWN items in the photographs is ramping up the mere ownership / endowment effect at play. I mean, it’s not just A navy plaid skirt LIKE the one I have…it is MY navy plaid skirt. And since I already own too much even after a pretty big purge, I am not wearing any of MY lovely items enough so seeing the photograph instead fills me with a longing to wear MY navy plaid skirt again. Seeing the stock photo…meh, it’s a skirt like any other.
If I lean hard enough into the mere ownership / endowment effect, there are very few things I would be willing to buy if I knew I had to give up something I already own (that is MINE).
And this lines up pretty well with the second “role” question you pose…though for my personal use, I would add a follow up question: Do I already have mine? That may sound strange, but in my head, I know exactly what I mean by it. Do I have already have my cute sneakers? My denim jacket? My navy skirt with pink floral print? My black ankle boots? My late spring trench coat? My comfy sweatpants to wear to the doctor’s office during the pandemic? My skinny jeans? My touch of yellow to brighten up a cloudy day? Whatever it may be, at whatever level of specificity makes sense. Being able to say, “Yes, I have mine” is such a great feeling, and it helps me combat the FOMO / scarcity mindset that is screaming “OMG there may never be another opportunity like this again you absolutely must grab it before it gets away forever.” I have tried reasoning with that voice, that it surely can’t be the very last opportunity ever, etc., but that hasn’t really worked very well…maybe because fear is stronger than reason. But countering fear with the positive emotion of attachment and contentment is working pretty well for me right now. I have mine…it may not be perfect, but it’s mine.
This is a good way to think about potential clothing purchases. I have the J. Crew sweater blazer in navy and I wear it a lot (navy is to me as black is to you and I also have two other navy cardigans). One thing to keep in mind is that the sleeves are not full length; I think they are meant to be bracelet length but are 3/4 on me. You might want to consider getting in regular size instead of petite.
The pink shirt. It would work for now, and the color is cheerful. Now is when we need some cheerful clothes to work at home in. If you don’t buy it, I might!
Best column yet! It forces me to ask myself those very important questions before I buy my “”millionth” piece of clothing!!
What a fantastic post! I have a problem – all the time – with the difference between “What I wish” and “What I actually have/wear”. I WISH for … chic sweaters, clean-lined classic trousers, elegant shirts, loafers. What do I actually wear? Jeans or knit pants (LOTS of knits in pandemic times), fleece cardigans or hoodies, long-sleeved t shirts, slippers. So clearly, I should purchase for what I wear and need, not my fantasy. (and yes, in my fantasy, I’m 50 lbs lighter and about 8 inches taller, besides being a redhead … nope, that’s not what I should set up for!)
I’ve made some ‘rules’ for myself:
1) if I can find a t-shirt or tunic top in a print combining MY colors, I’ll get it. I don’t find those often, and a print that includes purple/blue/grey is rare, at least in my plus size.
2) don’t even think about more pants right now, unless I’m replacing something that is worn out. I have enough jeans and knits. I’m not wearing anything else.
3) I’d like another pair of slippers. Now’s the time, before they’re off the market. I’d like lined black moccasins. I’d better get looking.
Thanks again for a dose of rational thinking!
Maurita P,
Your fantasy life vs your real life echo my own very closely. I reserve my classic “ chic” wear for travel and church, when those things ever happen again, but the fleece, knits or jeans, long sleeved tees and cardies and 1/4 zip pullovers are the “ real me “ for now !
Shrebee, we’ll just have to form the “I’m a practical realist and I wear jeans and fleece” club. I did find my lined black slippers and they’re on the way (and I was right, only 3 pr left in my size). So I’ll have warm feet and nice new slippers, which is always a plus in a Michigan winter.
I really enjoyed reading this post! As always, you have fabulous ideas about how we should be more mindful with our purchases. As someone who used to shop WAY too much, I have come such a long way, especially after getting married. That in itself made me be much more mindful since I had someone else on the financial journey with me. But, these days I find that when I do shop, there is still that tendency to buy too much or buy things that really aren’t the best purchases. I confess that I am still struggling with impulse buys! I think your idea of creating an Impulse Check page is really smart and I think I should probably do something similar. You’ve asked yourself some great questions. Like others, I especially like the fantasy question, and your responses like “sitting at my computer working and looking pretty…” are excellent because they acknowledge the activities that you are actually, realistically engaged in on a regular basis. I think fantasy is probably the single biggest area of struggle for me. I used to work in a Business Casual (no jeans) setting where I could wear all the beautifully tailored clothing that I love. Now, I work for a manufacturing facility. Most of my days are still spent in an office behind a computer, but everyone dresses super casually, and several times a week, I have to spend time in the shop where steel toe boots are required and rugged, easy to wash clothing is advisable. I wear bootcut blue jeans almost every day and many days I just wear my steel toe Doc Martens even when just in the office, mostly because it is, by default, acceptable and serviceable. The real reason is that I confess that I don’t know how to reconcile my fantasy outfit of cuffed, wide leg wool trousers, silky blouse, cardigan, and t-strap pumps with my current job reality. So, I recognize that the fantasy question is extremely important!
My fantasy would be one where I get to wear my bootcut jeans and Doc Martens every, single day to work!
OMG you have changed my life! This is the best.idea.ever!
I really like Beth’s assessment above. Also, I would, if you were actually going to spend money right now, buy things you can and will wear *now*. So that pink shacket (I know, another terrible name) and the fleece fair isle and total Yeses. They won’t break the bank and you will get a ton of wear out of them NOW. Plus they service your desire to add more pink! The other shirts and sweaters I would leave. The pearls you can wear now. The fabulous necklace you could wear for zooms, or nice Saturday dinners in with Belovedest. No need to wait until next Christmas. And the shoes. Breathtakingly expensive. No doubt you will get crazy amounts of wear out of them and they will make you happy, but you can’t wear them outside now. Are you wearing shoes in the house? Seems like this purchase could be postponed (until maybe after you get your tax return?)
I am definitely trying to get a handle on my own shopping impulses. I have decided to track every clothing expenditure I make this year. I’ve never done that before and it scares me to think about. But I know that, as with food journaling, just knowing that you have to write it down is a deterrent in a lot of cases and can help prevent impulsive behavior. But I also have been asking myself what do I have that already serves this purpose and do I really need another one, and can I use it *now*, which is a really good brake against wishful purchases.
Wonderful post! I would suggest trying that necklace on “in person” and wearing it around the store for a half hour or so. I have had a necklace with a similar (I think, can’t seem to be able to zoom in to see well) method of attaching the pearls. It appears that there might be a seed bead between the head of the head pin and the pearls or that the head pins have a ball-type head. If that is true, the necklace might become uncomfortably prickly to wear after a short time; I know my necklace did drive me to distraction after about 15 minutes. I hope I am mistaken on the construction; it is a beautiful necklace.
Oh! I see that the necklace is 60% off now. Maybe jump on it and try it around the house with the tags on so you could return it if it gets uncomfortable.
This has to be one of your most commented posts!
I really really love this idea of an “impulse check” sheet. I would personally add a “what are some reasons not to buy” section, as those tend to be the first things I forget ;)
I think the “what’s the fantasy” line is genius: I always do it in my mind, but actually writing it down could really help me figure out whether the item I want to buy really has a place in my wardrobe, or whether the fantasy is simply unfeasible.
You’re a gift to this world, Janice!
If I get to vote, I’d say you should buy the sweater blazer (they really are different from a regular cardigan), the pink corduroy shirt (you would throw on nearly daily), and the shoes (if you can walk miles in them, buy them!). Maybe the pearls, especially if they are a little different from your current pair, that I’m sure will turn up… – nancyo
If you’ve already separated out need versus want, the next question I would ask is “How would I feel if this item was no longer available if I came back to purchase it?” It’s important to add the clarifying “if I came back to purchase it” as merely being “no longer available” does not force you to place yourself in the position of making a decision.
If it’s no big deal that the item is no longer available for purchase, then it’s a pass and no need to give it any more thought. If there is a strong feeling of regret, then the item deserves additional thought and analysis to determine what is triggering that feeling.
Hello Janice and Everyone! This is a wonderful thought-provoking post with great discussions.
There is always some breath-taking garment in each one of TVFs’ posts that can drive me to impulse buying (like the pink coat in today’s post). So then the train of thought leaves the station:
“Oh, how beautiful! That color really stands out in the winter.”
“But wait- what about your super -warm down-filled black coat you bought for Alaska? Do you need another big poufy coat? And just how would you keep a – -pink– coat clean in the snow?”
” >sigh< maybe it's just that I like the color… "
"Well, maybe replace the trench coat you don't like wearing for a pink one for the spring. Or a pink 2nd layer that can be indoor/outdoor…"
"How 'bout those shoes? I love that color contrast—"
" Nooooooooooo. Not at that price. And do you even think they would have them in a size 10? "
I guess I do have this fantasy life where I am meeting people every day at some Board meeting for an arts organization where I've won the lottery or something so all I have to do is shake hands and be charming, and attend charity balls every week. One can dream.
Yes to the necklace.
I decided to assess the items I have just bought online. These are items on my “on the look out for” list which is basically anything on the purple spectrum as it is my favourite colour (so hard to find) and also a pair of smartish, dark grey, wide leg trousers and petite length (harder than it sounds). I can find loads of navy and black (which I don’t need) but grey is a challenge especially dark or charcoal grey.
Apart from Janice’s questions, I also added in suggestions from the comments:
“What is the material?” – Agnes – an important consideration for the season or other clothes you plan to wear with the item.
“Reasons not to buy?” – Alice – it’s always easy to persuade yourself that something “Will do”, as Sally pointed out, but then you will continue to try and find the perfect item because it wasn’t right in the first place. “Will do” is OK if you need to buy clothes in am emergency but otherwise, it pays, to reject things that don’t fit or the colour is not right. Dark Grey trousers for me are a case in point…
I also added two other questions:
What will I wear this with – ‘shop my closet’ – which will prevent orphans and aliens from taking residence?
What footwear will I wear?
DARK GREY TROUSERS – online
1. Attraction:
– Trousers look dark grey on the model on screen.
-Described as Black Mix
– Close-up – Dark Grey Houndstooth
– I know these will fit as it is a style and colour I have bought from this shop before and wore them a lot.
– Ordered a couple of sizes for best fit (always have to do that)
2. Other items that could fulfill the role:
– Dark grey tweed trousers (but look brown in some lights) and don’t look right with grey tops. Also high rise which doesn’t fit right.
– Black and White Houndstooth but it’s the colour that is important not the material. These are in a smaller size than I currently am due to lockdown weight gain… It has been a year since I last wore them.
3. What would I eliminate?
Grey tweed trousers
4. Fantasy – too look elegant but comfortable at home and smart on trips out.
5. Material
Dark Grey Houndstooth has a different vibe to black and white. Thick jersey which is fine. Must be machine washable.
6. What will I wear with them?
Heathered purple, lilac, burgundy and teal. Dark grey jumpers.
7. Footwear
Mid- heeled ankle boots or black low-heeled ankle boots. Trouser leg length must accommodate both.
8. How often will I wear the trousers:
Once or twice a week in Spring and Autumn/Winter if they can be worn with low heels. Otherwise occasionally on trips out wraring mid-week boots and not walking.
9. Reasons why they aren’t suitable:
– The grey of the houndstooth is light grey but the black does not make it dark overall.
– Too long – nearly 29 inches and these are supposed to be petite! I would trip over unless wearing heels. So not ones to wear at home.
– I’d have to get them turned up but by the time tailors reopen, it will be early summer.
10. Conclusion or Dilemma
Fit well apart from length but not as dark as I had hoped.
Do I want another pair of houndstooth? Compare with black and white houndstooth and put with grey tops and jumpers.
Ask daughter if she would shorten them asap. If not, return and keep looking. ☹
PURPLE PAISLEY SCARF – online
1. It’s purple so always worth looking at. Paisley is a favourite print.
2. Have two other purple scarves – one abstract and the other graduated in colour.
3. Would add to collection not eliminate.
4. Fantasy – paisley is exotic
5. Material – not sure
6. This has pale pink so could wear it with purple or pink.
7. Footwear depends on what else I’m wearing.
8. Wearability – whenever the mood takes me and the clothes suit.
9. Not suitable because the pink is actually LIGHT PEACH.
10. Return because accent pink colour is wrong.
LILAC CARDIGAN – shop and online
1. Lilac is my favourite colour. This is a pale lilac. Saw it across the shop ?? – stood out from a sea of beige, grey, orange, green and blue. Not in my size but ordered online. Measured against me it was the right length. Loose sleeves. Soft medium weight knit. Button up with a cute collar that suits me. Potential to be a jacket – smart-casual.
2. I have fine knit lilac cardigans but only wear them in the summer. This is a medium weight so bridges the seasons. I have similar v-neck cardigans in grey, blue and pink. I have a thicker knit lilac v-neck jumper.
OK with jeans but not smart trousers, skirts or dresses.
3. Eliminate my palest lilac fine knit cardigan.
4. Fantasy – looking effortlessly smart-casual and elegant in a social meeting over good trousers or skirt with a polo-neck, shirt, tee-shirt and beautiful scarf to accessorise. Or taken for warmth on a chilly day over a dress.
5. Material – recycled acrylic – wool is chomped by moths and I find itchy and too hot.
6. All my purple things plus grey and navy. Denim.
7. Footwear prescribed by what I wear on bottom half and whether I’m walking or just socialising.
8. Wearability – at least once a week in Spring and early Autumn. Whenever it is chilly in the summer.
9. Reasons it isn’t suitable – NONE ?
10. Keep and am wearing it now ?? It has a marled colourway with matching lilac and white marbled buttons. Smart casual – could be dressed up or down. I’m wearing it with an ivory polo and navy velvet trousers. Added a silk scarf in shades of pale lavender, lilac and teal which I haven’t worn for a long time. This will also look good with violet jeans, grey jeans, grey light jersey trousers which I have always ummmed about, plus silver grey tees and polonecks. Jewellery – lilac coloured beads and crystals, pearls and silver.
Thank you Janice for a brilliant post. This detailed analysis and scrutiny of my purchases combined with ‘shopping my closet’ has resulted in a perfect purchase which I shall wear with joy, one maybe but probably not and a definite return.
Perhaps another question is “Does this fill me with joy when looking at it and confidence when wearing it?” The compliments from my husband were great.
I’m very happy ? and I hope you will choose your keepers too.
*Cut and paste error – lilac cardigan fills me with joy and confidence – will not return!!
To your comment that you would like to be able to leaf through your wardrobe: Have you tried the Cladwell app? I don’t know if they still have free trials, but I like it for when I feel stuck. If I was better about logging outfits it would be useful to see what I really am wearing.
I would like to thank you for this particular post. ( At least I am shopping mostly Thredup & EBay instead of new.) I need to develop this skill so I am going to scribble down a list of questions to ask myself in the future.
Dena
Thank you! I’ve followed you for years and commented only a few times, but I usually come back to link to a store before making a purchase online. I hope that that gives you some reward for your hard work! This post is a great help. Especially the fantasy question as fantasyland has been my home lately! Thank you for your thoughtful, considered, analytical and generous work.
Big hugs!
Janice, this is a fantastic post with some great comments too! Love the idea of adding “what’s the fantasy” to my list of questions to ask before buying. I tried using the Stylebook app but it seemed like a lot of work to me. SO now as soon as I buy an item, I immediately add the stock photo to a Pinterest board. I also add the size ordered and the price paid.
This is a post I will come back to. I’ve thought a lot about my best questions for purging and buying over the years I’ve read your blog. For purging, the question is: “would I miss this?” I find that question surprisingly helpful. For buying I have two questions: “would I pack this?” and “would I want to wear this as soon as I buy it or receive it in the mail?” These questions help me separate the fantasy of the image from the reality of what I would actually enjoy wearing. Having some way to identify the fantasy is so important, and your question in the post helped me realize that it’s the biggest issue I need to address when buying. Also, I vote for the color block turtleneck. For some reason, I think it was one of the best options you showed, though you probably have many sweaters.
You need to buy yourself pearl earrings but they don’t have to be these earrings! A simple pair of black earrings or white earrings would be beautiful! I find myself wearing these quiet frequently! I also wear them with the matching pearl necklaces. I really think you would wear the black cardigan a great deal. Leave everything else for someone else!
Two things:
Janice, I think the reason the inaugural colorful coats outfits looked so beautiful was partly because they matched the garments worn with them so perfectly. I’m not against a colorful outerwear coat, but I don’t think they are as stunning worn over other colors.
Beth T, are you the person with the brilliant additional question, “Do I already have mine?” I love that!
I tried to see if anyone had mentioned this in other comments… but there are so many! So apologies if this was already suggested:
Limit the number of wish list items. 10? (Then apply a 1 in 1 out rule once you have X# of items).
A time limit for an item to remain on the list. 90 days?
Both of these would force focus and decision making!
Love your style and your analytical approach to a creative endeavor!
Both of those are genius thoughts – thanks so much for sharing them!
hugs,
Janice