November 15, 2019
It’s an indelible memory: a corporate holiday party, back in the 80’s. Most of the women were wearing those silk jacquard dresses that were so easy to find back then. (mine was red, with a dropped waist, and a big bow on my left hip, at the dropped waist; the skirt was a bit flared below the dropped waist, so that it moved when I danced. And THE SHOULDER PADS were a thing of wonder…)
One women showed up in strapless sequins. Oh my. I felt bad for her…
Since then, dressing for holiday events has been stressful for me; I’ve always been frightened that I would make that kind of “career limiting move,” or otherwise just not fit in.
So let’s be sensible, and intelligent in this planning, eh? Since many of us are going to have holiday functions of some sort from now through Valentine’s Day, having a plan is the best way to approach this small, but nonetheless real, dilemma.
For me, a handful of dressy garments that all work together is where I start:
black velvet tunic – Lands’ End; lace tee shirt – Anne Klein; black velvet pants – Lands’ End; black pleated skirt – Chelsea28
Four outfits – a good place to start for those of us who live in black!
One thing I’d like to beg all of you – if you MUST get sucked into an “ugly sweater” party, do NOT buy one new. Those kinds of things exist by the ton on Ebay and in thrift stores – don’t waste good money (and the related damage to the environment) buying something that you will wear once. (I’m a little bit offended by the whole “ugly” terminology; at some point in time, someone loved each of these sweaters… sigh…)
For those of us already in snow, a holiday brooch is a great addition to your winter coat (unless you’re wearing a $400 Arcteryx winter shell, in which case, do NOT poke holes in it!). These brooches can also turn a simple outfit into something festive; maybe wear a few…
Talbots ALWAYS has great holiday brooches…
dreidel brooch – Lord & Taylor; joy brooch – Talbots; ugly sweater brooch – Lord & Taylor; bells brooch – RJ Graziano; snowman brooch – Talbots
I’ve often considered collecting snowflake brooches, and pinning them all to something like a throw cushion when I’m not wearing them. I could prop it up somewhere and use it as a holiday decoration…
It wouldn’t be wrong to treat yourself to a necklace with a decidedly party feel, would it?
Red bead necklace – Talbots; cranberry necklace – The Met Store; Holiday tree necklace – Heidi Daus; wreath necklace – Macy’s
Or earrings! Those lovely holly earrings are CLIP ON – wonder of dinosaur wonders. And I can vouch for the enduring quality of jewelry from The Met Store…
silver snowflake earrings – Talbots; red earrings – Talbots; green stud earrings – Kate Spade New York; holly clip earrings – The Met Store; gold snowflake earrings – Heidi Daus
Dressy flat shoes aren’t reserved for the winter holidays, so if you have sufficient occasions to get good use out of a pair of pretty shoes, this is the time to get them!
black crystal strap loafers – Karl Lagerfeld Paris; wine velvet flats – Birdies; black ruffled suede flats – Sole Society; crystal buckle flats – Sole Society; gold driving loafers – Børn; cloud blue embellished flat – Sole Society
If dressy shoes feel like a bridge too far, or if you can’t wear them to everything to which you’re invited, think seriously about some fun socks. Talbots absolutely OWNS the world of festive socks! This is a small but not invisible way to be in the spirit if you work in an office where too much holiday would be inappropriate. Fun but fitting in…
off-white bird socks – Talbots; navy igloo socks – Talbots; polar bear light blue socks – Talbots; black dotted Santa socks – Talbots; mistletoe martini socks – Talbots; red reindeer socks – Talbots; green tree ornament socks – Talbots; light blue skater socks – Talbots; navy hats and mittens socks – Talbots
If you happen upon a lovely, good quality holiday scarf that speaks to you, GRAB IT. Because the scarves that I was able to find – while admittedly fun and festive – aren’t heritage quality. No matter, if you’re only going to wear it a handful of times each year.
black infinity scarf – Vivian & Vincent; navy scarf – V28; poinsettia scarf – Crown by Cube; green infinity scarf – Vivian & Vincent
Maybe you already have the necklace or brooches, and the earrings that you always wear – is it time for a lovely, dressy cardigan that doesn’t specifically scream one particular holiday? (well yes, the red sweater is pretty specifically Christmasy…) Something like this will be as beautiful at Valentine’s Day as it will be at Thanksgiving dinner…
red cardigan with Christmas lights – Modcloth; black/gold cardigan – Boden; metallic argyle cardigan – Baum und Pferdgarten; black rhinestone-trimmed cardigan – Maria Grazia Severi
In a similar, but faintly dressier vein, a lovely jacket can be useful through the cool weather. An autumn wedding? Terribly early Easter this year? Someone having a special party in January? You’re ready…
Silver sequined blazer – Leith; cinnamon velvet blazer – WAYF; black velvet jacket – Eileen Fisher; brocade jacket – Eileen Fisher
In our current very casual world, a skirt of any sort will immediately make you look more dressed-up than most people. But a deliberately dressy skirt? Timeless, and always a statement. I don’t CARE if people say “oh look, Janice is wearing her black velvet skirt again…” WHAT is that to me? Seriously?
Gold and black striped velvet skirt – Charis Allure; navy metallic pleated skirt – Court & Rowe; silver & black sequin skirt – Chelsea28; black velvet skirt – Halogen
Look through your sweaters, and see if you’ve got something that’s the right color for your to dress up, or something in a fabric or texture that lends itself to party attire. Most of us are probably in a position to be able to upgrade one of our older sweaters, I suspect…
(Don’t feel like you have to be stuck with red or green if you’re celebrating Christmas – there will be more than enough of those colors in the rest of the world…)
Pine cotton sweater – Lands’ End; blue cashmere turtleneck tunic – Lands’ End; red cashmere turtleneck – Lands’ End; mushroom v-neck sweater – Chelsea28
Last but certainly not least, do you own a good dress? By good I don’t mean covered with sequins, or embroidered with holly leaves! I’m thinking of something that fits beautifully, and that is basic enough that you can add a brooch, a necklace, or a scarf and look beautiful. And YES, you can wear flat shoes with a dress – anybody that believes that you can’t doesn’t respect the hard work that your feet have done throughout your life.
It’s right to care about how you look – it’s normal and healthy. But there’s a BIG LINE between caring and becoming neurotically obsessed, especially if is the opinion of others that concerns you.
In fact, anybody that wants to critique your outfit should just go home and quit being such a wet blanket. You are beautiful, what you wear is perfect, and your smile should be enough to grant you admission to all but the most formal of black tie events. Let’s remember what’s important, shall we?
Black ponte knit dress – Lands’ End; red ponte shirt dress – Lands’ End; blue ponte sheath dress – Lands’ End; black washable wool piped short-sleeved dress – Lands’ End
ALWAYS look for a discount code on the Lands’ End site – they have them almost all the time, and they’re usually very generous. Cashmere becomes almost affordable with enough markdowns!
At this juncture, I can only envision 1 event for which I’m going to have to dress up – Belovedest’s holiday party. And if we’ve scheduled our trip to Paris wisely, we’ll miss that! For Paris dinners, I’m going to pack something similar to the 4 garments at the top, and I’m going to be FABULOUS….
love,
Janice
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I always enjoy your ‘holiday’ festive blogs Janice, they are always so full of great ideas. I keep them all and often look at them for inspiration. I have made a small capsule of four pieces that go together in silver grey and midnight blue and am currently adding in some new accessories perhaps a new pair of earrings and a velvet clutch bag. In addition, I have a lovely knee length dark mulberry jersey crepe dress (with pockets and sleeves!) that I’m going to wear at home over Christmas, but I haven’t decided how I’m going style it yet – I quite like the idea of a sparkly brooch, I know Butler & Wilson make funky, unusual designs, so I may check them out. Your plan for Paris sounds grand, how are you going to style your little capsule? I laughed at your quip about planning your trip to coincide with the office party – oh the number of times that I’ve done that!
Oh Sharon, we would NEVER deliberately leave the country at the same time as a holiday party! Especially since my husband is probably the oldest employee there, and we SO enjoy dancing to rap music…
hugs,
Janice
A couple of years ago I bought a red open knit jacket that is a Chico’s travelers brand from a consignment shop for under $10. I have a gold camisole and a black camisole. I bring it out each holiday season, I will wear it to my 25th anniversary dinner with my husband at the end if November, a holiday Xmas party at a winery in December, Xmas Eve dinner with my husband and if we go out for Valentine’s day and then put it away again for next year. Someday I might get tired of it, but not yet, I still love it, it’s still like new and it’s one less thing to stress about this time if year.
Laura, I hope you still wear some or all of those classic holiday pieces by the time of your 50th anniversary. I have some Eileen Fisher and St. John items that feel like old friends and always make me feel “right” even gaffer 25 years.
Best holiday dressing guide ever! I have a couple of dress up capsules all based in black. And when those go on I am dressed up! One Christmas brooch was purchased in the 60s and still worn; rhinestone scatter pins from the 40s so do not neglect thrift/vintage stores for those. Thanks, and enjoy Paris
I agree…thrift shops and “antique” malls have lots of festive jewelry for all occasions. I recently bought a simple red and gold colored necklace which I am sure will be useful during the holidays.
this Nancy agrees as well! I was going to suggest vintage brooches – they are much prettier than most out there now. The holiday ones are really fun and beautiful. – nancyo
I kinda hate to tell you this Janice, but that argyle sweater IS black according to the website. AND it’s 50% off… I am NOT enabling you or anything, lol.
OH no, I thought it was navy….
deep sigh,
hugs,
Janice
Whew; since I work from home, have NO holiday parties to attend. However, I’ve gotten out ALL the black velvet to start wearing everywhere all the time! Also a new pair of pewter-colored oxfords that will be beautiful with anything. xoxox
i inherited a lot of holiday pins, and then added to them over the years.. so i love them on sweaters during the fall/winter months.
this post was quite timely for me, as i know i need to add some sort of holiday outfit to my wardrobe….. i found a few ideas but i can’t decide… a subdued but sparkly ruby shell and soft jacket? or a wine velvet burn out soft jacket? i keep going back and forth between which would work best long run
VI, I do like a velvet burnout fabric especially in grey, but I think long-term the sparkly ruby top sounds the most versatile. It can be styled with a variety of jackets, cardigans and sheer blouses in an array of colours and fabrics and can be partnered with smart and casual bottoms, shoes and other accessories depending on how dressed up or down you want to be. I hope this helps you decide. Sharon.
Thank you Janice for this useful guide. I especially love that black flats. I managed to build a casual capsule and I want to begin the process for a dressier one. I think pants and flats would be a good entry point.
I have the black/gold cardigan from Boden. It looks festive without screaming “Christmas” so I think I can get more wear out of it. I found it ran small and had to go up a size from my usual.
Thanks for the insight about how that sweater fits – that kind of information is really useful for all of us!
hugs,
Janice
Janice,
I love the argyle as well; the online description says black. ?
Marla
I must have deliberately misread it so that I don’t buy it. I do NOT need another cardigan…. I don’t think….
hugs,
Janice
I’d love to experience a cold Christmas but i live in Australia. Could you do a Christmas holiday in the tropics? Love your blog
I second that! I live in Southeast Florida and can only look with envy on most of the lovely winter clothes.
From October through February, I wear velvet or velour with subtley sparkly or embellished tops/jumpers most of the time – even to work! If it has a fur trim or collar to keep my neck warm, even better. Chunky pearls with a smattering of diamante beads look lovely against dark colours and look less blingy in the daytime.
Purple, plum and burgundy are great festive colours which look amazing with grey or silver. I realised recently that half my winter wardrobe are those colours. Dark Teal is a great alternative for seasonal green as emerald is too bright and pine green too dark on me. Navy is my ‘black’, though I do have black velvet jeans, skirt, and a black faux fur trimmed cardian for those occasions when only black will do.
Thanks for the suggestions of festive scarves, socks and brooches giving a nod to the season without being garish. I would probably go for something with snowflakes on for maximum wear.
I’ve always steered clear of Christmas jumpers until I saw a US branded cardigan in a vintage shop. Its red with black velvet stand up collar and cuffs. The red knitted body is speckled with tiny beaded holly leaves and along the bottom velvet edge and around the sleeve cuffs are embroidered red cardinal birds with beaded eyes. Its colourful, elegant and distinctive. This will be the third year I’ll wear it for my work’s Christmas lunch and again on Christmas Eve.
I have also just bought a sky blue polo neck like the one in your blog. It reminds me of the colour of the sky on a sunny but frosty winter day. I wear it with my navy velvet jeans and a long chunky but sparkly silver cardigan with faux fur collar. I like the contrast of dark bottoms with light coloured tops in the winter.
I remember the silk jacquard dresses! I had a two piece hot turquoise version, which I wore to an event hosted by my husband’s company. And lo and behold – there was the same dress on one of the company’s female executives! We laughed and complimented each other on our excellent taste.
Your red dress sounds fantastic and I do wish that dropped waists would come back!
You have so many great ideas. Thanks so much for sharing.
Such a lavish array of ideas! The key is dressing up enough for the occasion to which you are invited. For some parties, a sweater that is not office-y, trousers and a pair of those flats is perfect; other events call for a dressier option. (I am surprised when some guests think the same clothes can flex infinitely and men show up in running shoes.)
I can’t warm up to Christmas- themed brooches that look like Mom’s in the ‘50s but worn by a young woman in a retro outfit…maybe. I wear a pair of diamond snowflake earrings. And this beats the hell out of a Christmas sweater:
https://carredeparis.com/products/hermes-silk-scarf-neige-dantan-twill-light-blue
that scarf is gorgeous! – nancyo
I’ve had that same scarf for over 15 years and wear it with an ecru silk shirt or pale blue top and black slim trousers or jeans.
I’m going to have to get a black one; I’ve admired it for so many years… sigh…
hugs,
Janice
Lovely versatile suggestions. A friend once told me to keep a eye open for party or special occasion things and if I found something I loved to get it immediately because when the invite comes, you rarely find that heart stopping made for you alone outfit.
I took her advice and slowly built a small party/weddings/formal capsule. It’s been helpful for cruise packing too where formal nights are a consideration.
I brake for festive brooches & they sell out fast so if I spot a new one I like I buy it immediately if it’s in my budget. I don’t like to go over $60 for those. I bought a few dressy sparkly earrings on season clearance that I pull out each year.
Yay for cubic zirconia and good fake pearls. After a cocktail few people can spot the difference or particularly care.
For fall winter I rely on a nice pair of dressy black heels and my mother’s silk grosgrain gold trim clutch which make even plain black pants and a nice top look dressy. (Spring summer I use a pewter navy cream colour palette)
I scored 2 dressy jackets on clearance after New Years different years. One is an embroidered black velvet, the other is a red knit 3/4 sleeve jacket perfect for dressy casual. They go with some black & cream tops in lace, silk & velvet. I added some nice red tops over the years of sales.
I have a lovely black silk lined lace & velvet beaded shawl that I got one year not on sale but it’s heart stopping and I love it. Makes any outfit special. Well worth the money.
Everything goes with my black crepe knee length skirt, 2 black dresses or any of my black pants including black jeans.
If I see a pair of “leather” jeans on clearance this year (or gasp full price) I may get them to just play with texture and trends but I won’t pay too much.
Party clothes are less affected by trends, and last longer. I never use the if I haven’t worn it in a year toss it rule that minimalists love. Dress up clothing might not get used as often but it’s an ace in the hole when that invitation arrives and I am NOT scratching around for an outfit that I pay too much for and hate but it was all I could find.
Your friend’s advice is so true – don’t walk away from any TRUE “coupe de coeur” (smack in the heart) because the best stuff sells out FAST. Back in my retail days, we had so many client-customers (women who we would call when new merchandise arrived), that we would have the nicest things sold before they ever got onto the sales floor…
hugs,
Janice
@margery: You are so smart to buy party wear after New Year’s, on sale. There are always choices then, and also at off-price stores in the middle of summer. It’s such a relief to be free from racing out and finding something last minute, when the stores are packed.
I thoroughly agree with ‘buy when you see it’ but I find that shop sales disappointing. I find more unique items in charity (thrift) shops. I know that they stockpile evening wear throughout the year bringing it out for summer balls, weddings and for Christmas. It pays to get to know which shops sell the best occasion and designer wear and when they do the weekly stock change. Vintage shops are really taking off too in the UK so you can buy glitz and glamour at a fraction of the cost. I just wish there were more occasions to dress up. People seem to dress so casually these days.
I totally agree with you Margery on not getting rid of something you haven’t worn in a year. If you stay the same size you will probably have another occasion to show it off. I have a lovely stripped silk sheath that is easily 20 years old. Looks great at weddings. I also still have my long pewter colored skirt from New Years’ Eve 1999. I’ve pulled it out for different events and always receive compliments. Of course I laugh when I hear of young friends buying vintage and they mean the 80’s and 90’s. I can shop my closet for some pieces!
I love those red velvet flats! I thought of your blog often this weekend while I spent 3 hours in a consignment shop trying on good quality party clothes that would give me basics to work with. Someone got to the red Eileen Fisher wool jacket before I did and I was a little heart broken.
I had never thought I’d holiday scarves – I might have to start looking for one.
The other holiday category I have started is long sleeve t-shirts including a navy striped fa la la from Talbots and a solid red long sleeve t-shirt from lands end. Between the two I can make a casual holiday outfit out of black or navy.
Thanks for this post – it has inspired me to keep building a holiday wardrobe.
Janice,
I’ve been following your posts for a few months now, and wanted to let you know how much I value your suggestions. You are helping me rethink and retool my wardrobe for the life and body I have now.
I just received the notch-collar ponte knit dress from Lands’ End shown above (also featured in your October 25 post) in navy, and I can’t wait to wear it. It probably won’t be a party dress for me, but it’s versatile, flattering and a great value. And it has pockets!
For the holidays, I have two go-tos: a black velvet henley tunic and pants set similar to the one shown up top, and an alpaca-blend multicolored tunic sweater that I wear with leggings. The sweater is predominantly red and black, but doesn’t scream Christmas. Here in Minnesota, it’s not easy to be cozy AND elegant in winter, but we try.
Thanks for commenting – I’m so happy that The Vivienne Files is helpful to you! Chime in more often…
hugs,
Janice